It’s been a strange day – in a good way. I thought I’d just be relieved when my first demo in months – and first test of sorts in a year – was over. But there was more to it than that.
I felt good enough about my staff form that I sent a video clip of it to someone I work with who’s been trolling YouTube for a while looking for video of me doing kung fu, to no avail. He had a birthday today, so I emailed the clip to him as a gift and even labeled it “ammunition” (he’s merciless in his teasing). Much to my surprise, he emailed back in oversized, bold, colored letters: “Best Gift Ever!” And if that weren’t enough to feed my ego, he spent quite a bit of effort convincing me to let him send it out to the rest of the department. It was a big deal to him. He thought the form was “impressive.”
I’ve been needing that. For a year now, a year in which I suffered additional knee and back problems, and struggled to put in a decent performance with the freehand black sash form of Lian Huan Tui, I needed validation that I’ve grown, that promotion to black really was the beginning of something, not just the end of a horribly-intensive physical hazing.
Relatedly, the sound of “good job!” is much sweeter when it’s for one performance of one form. When it comes at the end of six forms, followed by a sparring match or two, the kudos really are more for survival than anything else. Surviving on the martial arts floor is first priority, of course, but living happily on it is so much better!
A new week begins later today, and with it comes instruction in a new form, I expect. So the saga of the middle aged woman and the long staff is a dead horse – at least until the tournament. I won’t beat it again until then. 🙂